"Exhale" (Johnny Levy)

Understand this:

There will be a day
When I rise above the clouds,
When my head breaks
The sky, and savage clouds
Gray and white, will enfold me,
As I am lifted by wind, and
I am roar, and breeze, and
Sun dawning glory, and I
Will rise like the sun, breaking
The plane of horizon,
Obliterating gravity,
Obliterating reality.
Obliterating down.

And I will see Him. Face
To face. God. Looking me
Dead in my face, God.
So big he shatters my
Language. So pure and raw
As to obliterate all
Classification, and my mouth
Will be sealed.

And it will be terrifying.

And it will be the moment,
I was made for. I was made
For this. I was made for something
Someone, so high, so high,
I can’t, so high, so holy, I fail,
So holy, eternal, I say words
Like “infinite” with no understanding
Of what that means, and I
Will see. For the first time.
And I will be obliterated, words
Obliterated, preconceived notions
Obliterated, sin, obliterated,
Doubt, obliterated, lies, obliterated,
Smallness, obliterated, time,
Obliterated, my mother and father
Forsake me, obliterated, glass
Darkly obliterated, and I will see
The one who defies description
By infinite orders of magnitude.

And all my excuses, and reasons,
Will wither and die before they can even
Reach my lips. Obliterated into dust
And less than dust. Only one word,
One name, will survive the journey.

My hope is built on nothing less,
Than Jesus’ Blood and Righteousness.
All else is dust and with'ring hands;
All other ground is sinking sand.

I will see Him. Do you understand this?
I will see Him. Within whose palm
I am the merest speck of dust, I will
Stand before His face, His majesty threatening
To shake every molecule apart from every molecule.

Moorings, obliterated; bones, obliterated.

And He has actually looked into,
And meditated upon
My heart. Apathy, obliterated.
Insignificance obliterated.

Author of the sun, and hearts,
And air and words and love.
Holding my face, looking dead
Into my eyes.

Confusion, obliterated.

Not belonging anywhere
Obliterated. Wandering,
Obliterated. Homelessness,
Obliterated. Tears, so many tears,

I will see my Father.

And I will exhale.

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